Jealousy

Change:: This is what people should do but don't. What people need to do but wont. What needs to happen.

Fox you inspired me!

Kay:: Bright//young//fun//wild//on the edge//not a care in the world;;
Sarah:: Strong//smart//safe//a thousand cares in the world;;

I have so much that I feel and i keep it inside. When I start to feel like crying or screaming (in a bad way) I just let Kay out. Its an easy way to hide everything. She doesn't have to answer to anyone. Shes always happy no matter what.

I was mad some what last night. Not so much as the people I was hanging with but more of the fact that I was bored. So instead of saying that I just let Kay out. I wish I could post my true feelings on here but I don't want anyone else knowing them. Antonio...you think guys talk to Sarah?? No they talk to Kay, shes the fun young wild girl they want. Sarah's just the girl guys need. I'm kinda jealous of Kay. She the fake part of me I made up to make everything easier and no its just harder then ever.

I told Rain last night that I decided I can't go the NC. But as I was laying my head down to go to sleep I realized that I don't have anything holding me back. I'll admit I had someone but I dont need a book to realize when to people like each other even though the one doesn't wanna admit it. And I just couldn't stand in the way like that. [[and just to add in on something. I do know what its like being unwanted Fox, But unlike some people I changed everything about myself early on so I wouldn't ever have to feel that way again. I changed me style my hair my clothes my weight bc I wanted to be accepted by people.]] If I dressed the way I want people would still see me as just this weird chick. I changed everything about me to fit in. But back to the point. I know when I'm in the way. I think Im in the way of him liking her...you know? I think that in some way he thinks he cant like her...I mean maybe I'm wrong..that's just what I think. And I don't wanna be in the way of someones feelings. Not only could they get hurt...but I could as well.


There so much more I wanna put up but Rains awake and were not on good terms. He said he had a dream that I left him last night. And now he basing my feeling on his dreams. I can't write anymore.

Jealousy looks bad on everyone. That why I keep it to myself. I act like its okay but its not. Thanks for the song.....I'm listening to it now.